Strangely conflicting feelings. I miss running. A lot. The sheer joy of finishing a marathon or 50k. The sense of accomplishment. And yet I am also content not running at all, virtually. Strange feelings are a brew.
It all started with the new job. Waking up so early and being so tired by the time I finish my day. I have good intentions. Go home, change, run, come home and eat and feel good. That is what running always does for me. Finish a run and you feel revived. And yet the minute I get in the car to drive home from work, or sit down for a minute, I lose all motivation. It happens. I'll have to change that.
The last marathon I ran was at the end of October. Ran two that month. I've hardly ran at all, some months no running at all. This month only 6 miles. I know I am not in shape to run a marathon the way that I want to run. But it was a marathon that kick started me in the beginning, my first marathon, the one I ran with zero training, repeat zero, and then got me in to running whole heartedly back at SF in 2006. So why not try the trick again? I know I am in better shape then I was then. I mean I am almost 30 pounds lighter now than I was then.
So I signed up for the Forest of Nisene Marks Marathon, one I ran last year, my second fastest ever. No illusions. Figure, since it is 13.1 up and then 13.1 down, it will be tough. But I like the concept of knowing that I have to get to the turn around point to come back. That was my problem with the Sequoia 50k that I dropped to 30k earlier in the year. It was a loop course and I had an excuse to drop because my car was right there. Not this one. So I bit the bullet. Will train some hopefully, putting in a decent amount of miles the rest of the month. At worse, I jog walk a beautiful race in Aptos, getting a full days worth of exercise.
And of course the great high I usually get after finishing that oh so coveted distance of 26.2.